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January 5, 2007

The Coffee Shop Bathroom Incident

The Coffee Shop Bathroom Incident

I should have known Tucker wouldn’t show up. I arrived at the coffee shop a little late (as usual, Filipino time), but there was no Tucker waiting for me. I waited for a few minutes and hoped that he was just late.

Twenty minutes later, there was still no sign of him.

He definitely was not going to show up.

For the next fifteen minutes, I sat at the corner table contemplating on my next move. Should I just go home and pretend that nothing happened? Should I go to his house and kick his ass? (By the way, I am a second degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do). Or should I put a voodoo spell on him? I always wanted to see how he would walk with swollen testicles. ***evil smile***

Okay, the evil smile didn’t last long for my stupid tears started falling, and once they fall, there’s no end to it for at least an hour or so. People stared at me like I was some kind of a pathetic lunatic waiting for a lover who obviously didn’t love her enough. I ran to the bathroom to hide my embarrassment and maybe (just maybe) to lament.

I wailed like a pig about to be slaughtered. How could I be so stupid?

I cried. And cried. And cried. Good thing nobody was around. I felt silly for a second, but I didn’t care. I was hurting and I had to let out my pain.

Then I suddenly stopped my dramatic episode because I saw a pair of men’s shoes in front of my stall. The person knocked.

“Somebody’s in here,” I said. The pain that I felt earlier turned into a feeling of fear. I’ve heard of bathroom horror stories before.

“From the way you howl, you are definitely a woman. Just to let you know, you are in the wrong bathroom.”

Eww. I am in the men’s bathroom. Eww. I touched the door knob. Eww. I’m sitting on the toilet bowl (with cover, of course… but still). I quickly stood up. Did he just say I was howling? What am I? A freakin’ wolf?
I felt like Kim Sun-ah in the Korean drama, My Name Is Kim Sam Soon. The same exact thing happened to her when her boyfriend dumped her. She was so distraught that she accidentally went into the men’s bathroom to cry. Luckily, the hot Hyun Bin was there to save the day. Well, not right away, but you know what I mean… that was how they met.

So, if Kim Sam Soon met the guy of her dreams in the men’s bathroom after her boyfriend dumped her… Hmm… maybe I would meet him here too? What if the guy who was talking to me was my own Hyun Bin?

But I was too embarrassed to go out. Plus, I was kind of scared too… what if it’s some weird ugly white guy? Plus, he kind of said that women cry like a wolf or something like that. He might be a jerk.

A few minutes passed, and I heard the bathroom door open and close. I heaved a sigh of relief. He was gone. I could finally get out.

As soon as I stepped out of my stall, I heard someone say, “Are you a pervert or something?”

I saw the face of the voice I talked to earlier. Wait a minute, did he just call me a pervert?
“What did you say?” I asked with an angry tone in my voice.

“I told you this was the men’s bathroom, but you still stayed. Did you come in here to look at guys?”

I could not believe what I was hearing! He definitely was not my Hyun Bin. He was Asian, but yuck, he was not my type. Thank God! I knew the guy was a jerk. He had like a semi-smile on his face… the kind of smile that really bugs me.

“Are you a pervert?” How dare he use Hyun Bin’s line.
“Did you wait for me to come out just so you can ask me that? Or are you here waiting for your face to look like whatever it was that just came out from your ass?” He looked at me like he was lost in translation. Maybe it was my accent. The irksome smile was replaced with an open-mouthed surprised look. “Well, I have good news for you. You don’t have to wait long.”

I have to be honest, that felt extremely good.

I quickly turned around and got out of the restroom before he could do something terrible to me. I ran out of the coffee shop and left as soon as I could.

Filed under: Other by GoGoDamsel at 3:29 am

November 28, 2006

The Never Ending Tucker Saga

I got the call around 9:30 in the evening, in the middle of Grey’s Anatomy. Who the heck would dare call me during Grey’s Anatomy? My friends knew better.

I looked at the caller ID and almost choked on my sweet potato when I saw Tucker’s name blinking amidst the falling hearts graphics.

Why on earth would he call me now? It has been three months since the last time we talked. And why on earth do I still have falling hearts graphics on his name? Yuck. Should I answer it? Should I not?

I let my phone ring four more times. Then it stopped. I was saved by the voicemail. I wondered what message he would leave. “Gypsy, baby, I miss you so much. Let’s get back together.”

He better not.

Then the freakin’ phone rang again. I almost fell off the couch because it was still Tucker. Two phone calls from Tucker in two minutes? That was so worth an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records, Tucker’s Edition.

I finally decided to take his call.

“Hello,” I said, making sure my voice sounded annoyed.

“Hi,” he said. He sounded hesitant. “Is it a bad time to talk?”

Is it a bad time to talk? That was so my line. Maybe it rubbed off on him because I always asked him that every time I called. Gosh, I hated asking that question, but I always had to because he seemed like he was always busy and did not have time to talk to me.

“Uhm, who’s this?” I asked, pretending I didn’t recognize his voice.

“You already forgot me?” he asked.

“Mark? Mark, is that you? You sound kinda funny.” I said. I almost laughed. I should be an actress. I was pretending that I was expecting a call from a guy named Mark. I didn’t even know anybody named Mark. I used it because I was watching McSteamy on TV.

“Is that your new boyfriend’s name?” Tucker asked.

“Huh? Who’s this?”

“Gypsy, it’s me, Tucker,” he said.

“Oh,” I said like I was disappointed. “Hi.”

“Are you busy?” he asked.

Gosh, how many of my lines is he going to use?“Uhm… I’m watching Grey’s Anatomy, but you can talk ‘coz it’s still on commercial right now.”

He was silent for a while. Then… wait a minute… did I just hear sniffling?

“Tucker, are you sniffing coke right now or are you crying?” I knew he was crying, but it was just so unlikely that I had to throw in the coke-sniffing bit, which was more possible.

Tucker rarely cried. The only time I saw him cry was when his Z4 M Roadster’s tires were slashed. Yeah, that was scary…both the sight of Tucker crying and the slashed tires. I was even more fearful when I found out that the person who did it was his ex-girlfriend. Whew! Better the car than me.

“Gypsy, I have a really big problem,” he said in between sniffles. “Can I talk to you please?”

What am I? Your freakin’ psychiatrist?

 “Of course, you can talk to me.”

“Can we meet somewhere?” he asked.

Oh, for the love of God! Grey’s Anatomy is still on!

“Yeah, sure, give me 40 minutes. Where do you wanna meet?”

“How about the Caribou Coffee on Maynard?”

“Okay, I’ll see you there in 40 minutes.”

Then our phone conversation ended. Did I just agree to meet Tucker?

I did.

What was the matter with me?

To be continued…

Filed under: Other by GoGoDamsel at 11:34 pm

November 25, 2006

Trust My Obsession

I stare at those impeccable brown eyes,

Lost in a fairytale that only exists in me;

Don’t just look at me with a meaningless glare,

Understand the purpose of my existence,

Come into my world.

 

You smile now, but not at me;

You have cried before, but not for me;

You say I love you, but not to me;

But in my dreams, you live a life with me.

 

Come, please come and be with me,

You who gave me a new reason to live;

I will shout your name, hoping you will hear me;

If you won’t, then I will just shout louder…

Seven thousand miles is not an issue;

But if you do hear me,

Come quick.

Trust my obsession,

I am your soul mate.

Filed under: Other by GoGoDamsel at 10:45 pm

October 31, 2006

The Man from the Moon

The Man from the Moon

            A man in a white space suit walked toward Asia Market as if he was walking on the moon. I blinked in confusion. Why on earth would a man dress up like that just to go to a grocery store? I blinked again just to make sure I wasn’t just hallucinating.            Sure enough, I was just seeing things.            This had been happening to me often lately. My friend, Cassie Teng, called it lack-of-REM-sleep induced psychosis. I freaked out upon hearing the word psychosis because images of Norman Bates came to my mind. I took showers with my eyes wide open since then even though according to Cassie, I was the one experiencing psychosis. Whatever. She was probably just showing off her sudden influx of medical vocabulary. She had been doing a lot of it ever since she got into Duke. Once she told me I had tuberculosis because I was having night sweats. This made my hypochondriac self rush to the nearest clinic and had a TB test taken. Well, to make the story short, I didn’t have TB, I just had the heat in my house set too high, and I almost sued Cassie’s ass for distress.            My other friend, Regina Patel, claimed that my hallucinations were caused by lack of sexual activity.             I thought both of them were out of their minds. All I needed was just my yearly eye exam.Or sex. I guess Regina was fifty percent right…

Okay, who am I kidding? She was a hundred percent right.

But I definitely did not have psychosis.

Anyway, I went inside the Asia Market, a place that I had been avoiding for quite some time now. It was here that my relationship with Tucker ended.

When we broke up, I thought it was good riddance. I mean, what the hell kinda name is Tucker anyways? It rhymes with f***er.

But still, memories of that day hurt. I cried every time images of Tucker and that Korean girl came to my mind. What was worse was that every time I thought of that day, the Korean girl became more and more gorgeous. Drop dead.

I wanted her to drop dead.

I walked down Aisle 2, where jars of pickled goods were displayed. Spicy bamboo shoots, pickled cucumber, sour papaya, pickled ginger, kimchi…

I froze in my tracks.

Tucker was holding a jar of kimchi that day I bumped into him in this store. And that was the day I told myself to never eat kimchi again – a New Year’s resolution in the middle of July.

“You must hate kimchi that much, huh?” an amused male voice said, bringing me back to present day. I turned to my left and came face to face with the man from the moon, but now, hallucinations aside, he was just wearing a plain lab coat.

“Huh?” I said. It was all I could manage.

“You’re looking at the kimchi jars with tears falling from your eyes and fists clenched as if you’re about to smash them,” Moon Man said.

I stared at him blankly. For some reason, I didn’t realize I had been crying… in public. Okay, maybe I had issues.

More tears welled in my eyes. I didn’t even make an effort to wipe my tears… and my… snot?

Holy crap! How embarrassing was that?

I turned around and frantically searched my purse for tissue. Great. I didn’t bring any.

There was only one option left – my sleeves. Eww. It was so first grade.

I glanced at Moon Man to see if he was still there. I didn’t want him to witness the very childish act I was about to do.

Moon Man smiled; his eyes were playful, his dimple was enticing. He reached into his pocket and handed me something. It was a white handkerchief.

Then he walked away without saying anything anymore.

Even with a nose-full of snot, I could smell the scent from the handkerchief.

Drakkar Noir.

I wiped my eyes and my nose.

Definitely Drakkar Noir.

And then it hit me. Moon Man was cute. And he smelled good. And I had his handkerchief. I should at least get his number in case he wanted his hanky back (of course, after it’s washed). Just in case.

I scanned the aisle for a man in a white lab coat. None. Zero. Nada.

I went to the next aisle, and the next, and the one after that. I didn’t find him.

I ran outside, hoping he would still be in the parking lot.

No luck.

Moon Man was gone.

I smelled the handkerchief again. This time I didn’t smell Drakkar Noir. Instead, I smelled hope. Moon Man gave me hope because he talked to me even with my runny nose. He made me realize that I could meet someone.

That my life didn’t end with Tucker.

That I could move on.

I walked back to the Asia Market and bought a jar of kimchi. I never really stuck to New Year’s resolutions anyway.

Filed under: Other by GoGoDamsel at 1:05 am

September 8, 2006

Random Memories

Flashback: Some years ago

Season: Summer

Everyday, I took the same route from my Calculus class to my communications class. Three days after classes started, I noticed this cute guy who also took the same route (going to the opposite direction).  Our eyes met, but I quickly looked away. My eyelashes fluttered like a hyperactive butterfly. My whole body became hot. Afraid that the sudden increase of my body temperature might show on my face, I walked faster and didn’t look back at him.

Once my calculus class ended, my heart beat like crazy.  Before I even stepped out into the scorching hot school yard, I was already sweating like a pig because of nervousness. I knew I would see him again… And I did… And this time he smiled at me…

At me??? I looked around to see if he was smiling at someone next to me or behind me, but no one was there… So, he was smiling at me. Blood rushed through my whole body. I felt good even though I was still sweating. He smiled at me. HE SMILED AT ME!!! I wanted to announce it to the whole world. I was silly like that.

Everyday, Guy #31401020 and I had “moments”. We would look at each other and smile with a hint of embarrassment. I wondered what his name was and if we’d ever talk to each other. Well, at that time, I was already content with a smile because he had a cute smile.

One fine day…

I was sitting on a bench, reading my communications book. I was thinking why I didn’t see him in between classes that day. I tried to concentrate on my reading… but I kept seeing his face in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

People walked past me… didn’t know who… didn’t care. Then came a time when I looked up to take a break from reading. I stopped breathing for a second. He, guy #31401020, just passed by… and he kept walking.

Whew! I heaved a sigh of relief. He didn’t notice me. Thank God!!!

Wait… what??? He didn’t notice me? Disappointment followed… until he looked back at me and caught me looking at him. I couldn’t look away anymore. I was caught red-handed. So, I just smiled. It was the only thing I could do. I swear my face looked like a Filipino tomato (whatever that looks like). He smiled back. I was satisfied. Very satisfied… then I went back to reading (well, I pretended).

“What are you reading?” somebody asked.

LUB DUB. LUB DUB. LUB DUB. Am I hearing things? Could it be him? I looked up to see who was talking to me. It was him.

I jumped up and hugged him… haha! Just kidding. Actually, I froze but managed to say, “Huh?”

“What are you reading?” he asked again. Now that I think of it, it was kind of a lame pick up line. But that was brilliant compared to my answer…

“A book,” I said.

I wanted to slap myself. A book? Duh. Of course he knew I was reading a book. Announce to the whole world you’re stupid, why don’t you, Gypsy?

“Haha!” I laughed with embarrassment. He laughed too. “I mean, I’m reading my communications book.”

Then we introduced ourselves and started a conversation that actually made sense. I was in 7th heaven that day. Who wouldn’t be? It’s such a wonderful feeling to know that the person you fell “in like” with at first sight feels the same way (also at first sight).

Can you guess what happened next?

Filed under: Other by GoGoDamsel at 12:42 am

August 21, 2006

Ramblings

I got an email today from an old friend of mine. She has been reading my blogs and now she thinks I’m sad, that I need to cheer up because good fortune will only knock on my door when I’m happy. It seems to me that she thinks I’m pitiful. I don’t think I’m pitiful at all. Yes, I admit that I have sadness in my life, but I am happy that I have sadness in my life because I believe that a little sadness is beautiful. It allows me to dig deep into my emotions. Sadness allows me to see the good things in my life at a better angle. My tears make me treasure the laughter that comes after even more. If there is sadness, then there is hope for happiness… and hope is great because without hope there would be no life… no purpose of living it. If we lose love, at least we still have hope that one day we’ll find love again. If we lose hope, then what else do we have? I don’t feel sorry for myself for feeling sad sometimes because I have a lot of hope for happiness. Good fortune will come when it’s the right time to come. If it doesn’t come today, then maybe it will come tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then it will come next week. It doesn’t matter when because I know it will come. I know. Because I have hope.


Filed under: Other by GoGoDamsel at 11:42 pm

August 11, 2006

Thirty Seconds Crying Therapy

I was so hurt by the last guy I loved that I promised myself not to waste a minute of my time on him. That is why I only cried for thirty seconds last night. It was only half a minute, so I didn’t really break my promise.

I haven’t thought about him for a while now. When we were still together, I always counted the days without him until I saw him again. After I said goodbye to him, I thought, the day I stopped counting the times I wasn’t with him would be the day I stopped loving him.

That day already came.

Or did it?

Last night, out of the blue, I thought of the last happy moment we shared with each other. He just got back from Switzerland and had brought me Swiss chocolates. I put the chocolates on the table and held his hand. I held on to him as if I were scared that he might leave again. He was gone for a week, and I missed him so much. That week felt like ten thousand days doubled, and tripled, and doubled again. That was the time I knew I really loved him.

I call that time “The Week of Truth” for that was the time I realized something that I had been kind of denying before. And I think that was also the time he realized something. I think maybe that that was the time he realized he didn’t want to be with me anymore. Maybe. Just maybe.

He didn’t show his true feelings that day he gave me the chocolates. I didn’t know that that would be the last day we would spend with each other. After minutes of just holding his hand, I felt like I wanted to eat some of the chocolates, so I opened a box and shared it with him. We shared each chocolate evenly. I bit half and gave him half. He bit half and gave me half. And when he accidentally bit more than half, I accused him of being greedy. We acted childish and silly, laughed heartily. I was so happy that day.

The thought of that happy day made me so sad last night. So sad that I couldn’t help but shed some tears. I glanced at my bedside clock, and then I let it all out. I wailed under my pillow (I didn’t want to wake my parents and let them catch me crying over a guy… God forbid). When I looked at the clock again, I realized that I had been crying for 26 seconds. Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine. Thirty.

I wiped my tears. Closed my eyes. Went to sleep.

There were occasional sobs in my dreams. But no more tears. Not until that day I think of a happy moment again.

I’m really not counting anymore.


Filed under: Other by GoGoDamsel at 1:25 am

August 7, 2006

Piano Recital

My students had a piano recital last Saturday. It went well, and I think everybody had fun despite the small venue.

 

As I watched my students play their songs, I felt sobs in my throat. I was so touched at how hard they’ve worked on their songs and their accomplishments. My eyes became watery in every end of their music piece, but I tried not to let my tears fall. I was so happy that I was able to share what I have learned with them. Years before, when some of my students just started, I had never imagined that I would be able to teach them what they have learned now. I still remember letting them play the three black keys with their fingers 1, 2, and 3. They read notes that were not written on a staff… just simple whole, half, and quarter notes on a 4/4 or ¾ time signature. But last Saturday, they were playing songs with eighth and sixteenth notes with rests and complicated dynamics. I felt so proud of them. I wished that I could be their teacher for a longer time, but I knew that someday I have to let them go and move on to better instructors so that they will be able to widen their horizons.


Filed under: Other by GoGoDamsel at 10:31 pm

August 3, 2006

My Childhood Friend

            My Childhood Friend, Eyon

I became so bored today that I started searching for movies I can watch on the internet. I didn’t really watch a whole movie but I “movie-surfed”. I came across this drama which starts with a woman narrating her experiences when she was a little girl. Years ago, she met a boy in a hospital. They were both recovering from accident wounds. They began meeting at a secret place where they shared thoughts and stories. But eventually, they had to say goodbye to each other and go their separate ways.         

For some reason, my tears started falling even though I had only been watching for about twenty minutes. I didn’t cry because I was already moved by the story but because I remembered my childhood best friend. His name was Marion, but I called him Eyon (like Aeon Flux). He was a year older, but he was so small that we looked like we were the same age. He was very nice to me, always letting me have what I wanted and letting me have all the attention from the grown-ups around us. I came to know him because his dad married my aunt. My aunt stayed with me and my grandparents for a while, and she brought Eyon with her. Eyon was like a real son to her, so I treated Eyon not just as a friend but also as a cousin. At that time, I thought he was really my cousin because I didn’t really understand relationships through marriage. They were too complicated for a five-year-old.             Eyon was a solid part of my childhood for quite some time. He would visit my hometown every year with my aunt. I remember that my days were always filled with joy when he was around. I had a round-the-clock playmate that I bossed around. I cannot recall a time when he complained about anything. And now that I think about the times I spent with Eyon, my heart breaks because I wish I had been nicer to him.

            He disappeared from my life when his father died. His maternal grandparents took custody of Eyon and his brothers. My aunt had a child with Eyon’s dad, but the child died not long after Eyon’s dad passed away. My aunt, alone and depressed, went to another island to start a new life. I completely lost contact of Eyon.

            The summer I was ten, I went to Eyon’s hometown with my grandfather. It was also my grandfather’s hometown, and his siblings still lived there. My grandfather’s brother had a big party and many people were invited. I got so excited when I saw all the kids running around the yard. I couldn’t sit still with my grandfather inside the house with all the grown-ups, so my grandfather let me go outside. I happily stepped outside the house, and then, I suddenly became motionless. Outside the house, riding on a bicycle, was my long-lost friend, Eyon. I stood there, waiting for him to see me, to smile at me, to wave at me. Seconds became minutes, and he never once looked at me. I couldn’t wait any longer, so I called out his name. He looked at me, and for a while, we just stood there looking at each other. I gave him a smile. He smiled back at me. But that was it. Just a smile. It was as if we were never very close during the years before. My heart ached so much as he pedaled his bicycle farther away from me. I couldn’t comprehend what just happened. Did he even recognize me? Was I too mean to him before that he didn’t want to be my friend anymore? If he only knew how much I treasured him as a friend, I wonder if he would still be my friend until now.

            That was the last time I saw Eyon. Before I came to America, my grandfather and I went to his hometown again. I asked someone how Eyon was doing, and what I heard saddened me so much that until now my heart hurts every time I think about it. Eyon’s grandparents did not treat him and his brothers well. Eyon couldn’t even finish high school because he had to work to support himself. I heard he became a kondoktor (someone who collects the fare from passengers) of a jeepney (a form of transportation in the Philippines). Every time I rode on a jeepney, I would wonder if I would see him again and if I could recognize him after all these years.

            It has been almost twenty years since the last time I played with my childhood best friend. I haven’t heard anything about him for thirteen years, but I still wonder what happened to him. Does he have a better life now? Is he married? Does he still remember me? I always pray that God would keep him safe. It doesn’t matter if he still remembers me or not as long as he’s alive and safe. I have all our memories treasured in my heart. Maybe someday we will meet again. I dare not let go of my memories because if ever we see each other again, I want to be able to remind him of our childhood days.

 

Filed under: Other by GoGoDamsel at 7:20 pm

Wedding Reception at the Matthews House

My friend’s wedding reception was held at this beautiful house in Cary. It’s called The Matthews House. It’s one of those old NC houses that radiate southern hospitality. The interior was warm and nicely furnished – like a real private residence. They served appetizers at the house, but the party was held at another building behind the house. Someone told me the owners of the Matthews House even rent the rooms on the second floor to families. I heard the house has a very nice Bridal suite with a bath tub in the middle of the room (this is just what I heard… I don’t know if I really heard it right). I was curious to see what the second floor was like, but it was off limits, reserved only for the bride, groom, and family. So, my mom and I just sat on one of the Queen Anne benches and watch people socialize. I stared at the colorful ceiling to amuse myself while waiting for the reception to start.

The food was served buffet style, but someone had to give the food to you, so you couldn’t really overindulge yourself. Nevertheless, all the dishes tasted good.

This is the third time I attended a wedding here in America. I thought that this reception was unique because it was in a real house and not in a restaurant or in a hotel. If there are couples out there who are planning their wedding, they should consider having it at The Matthews House if they want something warm and unique.

 


Filed under: Other by GoGoDamsel at 6:19 pm
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